the pain

Negotiation skills. That's what it takes to survive in the "real world".  Without it, we would be nothing.

How sure am I about this?

Not 100%, but I'm pretty sure it's required

...today...

Dishes can be a pain, especially having to do them constantly (or so it feels).  Most of the time, dishes are therapeutic, but when it starts to feel like deja vu, you know there's something wrong.

Carrying two laundry baskets, down two flights of stairs can a pain, especially when you ask someone if they're busy and they say "no," but then when you ask them if they can help you with something and they're like "*groans* I'm tired".

THEN, when they actually see you struggling, they look at you like WTF? And when I return from the laundry room, they go, oh, were you doing 2 loads of laundry?

As if the looks of things weren't clear enough.

After asking that question, another question follows: "Are you mad?"

Oh gosh. What do you think?

Well, I wouldn't say mad, but frustrated?

Not sure what words I'm looking for here.

This is probably a moment where I could have used those negotiation skills I mentioned earlier.

and the funny thing is

Washing the dishes the evening after eating dinner with Debbie, she starts laughing hilariously. I don't exactly know why, but she does. I think one of the reasons is because the note she wrote on the board that states:

My Experiment...

Noodles with peanut sauce and chicken.

• kinda spicy
• very out of the ordinary
• eat at your own risk! 

but you are welcome to eat it,

IF YOU DARE. *>:)

-Debbie

(then I added) P.S.: the only reason Jac is still alive is because she did not eat any of it, only smelled it.  She says it smells good.

THEN after we're done washing the dishes, we decide to go to Staples. It's like 8 o'clock-ish and I'm pretty sure they're just about to close. Debbie doesn't think so. So we decide to go out the "front way" because it's closer, only to find that a guy is PAINTING the floor. 

can you say wtf? yes, I know.

So the guy tells us to go around, in poorly spoken English, of course. So we're like, oh, okay well take this opportunity to "explore" and find the "third pool".

btw, we found the third pool. 

What we didn't find was an exit.

We get to Staples, and sure enough, it's closed. So we walked around shops for a while and then went to Starbucks.

Overall, what was the "and the funny thing is?"

I'm not exactly sure, that's for you to decide. 

just let me be

Continuous pestering, daily.  Sometimes I think, maybe, just maybe for one day I'll be left alone.  But sadly, no.  These one word actions that are so violently being placed upon my eyes, awaiting me to read them as the screen notifies me that my message(s) awaits.  Then to think I'll be okay after the day is done, again, no.  Every other day, in the actual flesh.

mutters silently, *darn* beneath my breath

or, think it in my head.

releasing a small, not noticeable sigh of depression, I pretend as if nothing is wrong because I know it will just drive you psycho.  

The fact that you are unstable used to worry me, but now, I find it a problem. It's one of those situations where I put up with it because I am too nice; just too nice.

Sometimes, being nice = a weakness.

getting the run around

design department. art department. horn center. All which equal my academic advising for second semester.  While most students only have to attend one, lucky me, I attend all three.  The sad thing about it is the fact that I did not received the help I actually needed.  Instead, from my design meeting, I am redirected to the horn center; however, I receive an email telling me that I have to attend the art department in order to take classes. While at the art advising, I get redirected to the design department, which I already attended; therefore, off to the horn center it is.

Horn Center. I don't particularly enjoy talking to the receptionist there just because I had an incident, but the advisers are awesome. =]  Super helpful and informative. 

the temptation

It just sat there, cold and full of color.  I could taste it on my tongue, and when I decided to finally pour the cup, three more cups followed.   Hello Arizona Green tea, you've never tasted so good.

statement(s) of the day

my roommates asks, "What is up with San Jose, they're like popping babies out. They think it's easy." 

So my roommate, Clarissa just found out one of her friends is pregnant and she heard that there was a "count down" on the girl's myspace. Of course, she checked it out, and showed me. So we're looking at it, and it's like "9 weeks" only 214 days left to go. *sigh* 

Then she tells her boyfriend, and the boyfriend says, "now you know when they have a countdown on myspace they're not ready for a kid." 

aim for more than just content

Current topic of the day: relationships. So apparently college is supposed to be the time for meeting new exciting people, everyone knows this.

"duh."

Lately, my friend Robin has been staying over the weekends and he's been talking to me about how I need to be fulfilled. So he's been through this conversation with my other two roommates, and they both agree.

My outlook on this topic. I would say I'm content with what my life is.  I'm happy with the way things are going. But here at Long Beach, I often feel a lack of passion for being here. Then I think, why am I at Long Beach? What is my main purpose for being here?  

my reason: interior design. 

But now, after being bombarded by the topic of relationships from all angles almost possible, I'm starting to consider that maybe I need to get out more...

Now this topic leads to other things, such as the reason I need a job; to meet people.  Not only that, a job would make me become even more independent from the old me.  As of right now, yes, I am independent, but I still feel as if I am being held back. 

Yes, I live in an apartment, live with 3 other girls, and attend school daily, but this apartment I live in, I'm not paying for it, my parents are and the school I attend, my parents pay for that too.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I look at my other 3 roommates and they all are managing a job and work.  They have their own money to spend and don't have to run to mommy and daddy for allowance in order to spend it on the things they want. 

I know my parents love me, but sometimes I feel they are just too overprotective. Sometimes, I think they worry too much.  I mean, I'm 18 now and going to be turning 19 in about a week and my mom won't allow me to use my debt/atm card because she feels it isn't safe.  Understandable, but how does me carrying around cash any safer?  I feel it's just MORE dangerous, no?  I want to be able to say to them that yes, I appreciate your help, but can you let me live my own life.  I know in the eyes of parents, they don't want their children to grow up.  They want them to remain children forever.  It's a scary thought, yes, I know, but it's the truth.  I need to break free from their overprotectiveness and prove to them that I can manage school and work.  I need to stop coming home weekly, because when I do come home, I never am able to accomplish any school work.  I always have tasks to do around the house or errands to run. 

so what exactly do I have to do? 

Break free.  Be more outgoing.  Meet people. Manage time.  Establish independence.  

what a depressing post, yes I know.

but it's also semi-optimistic, no?

rewind and then press play

Okay, so I had a busy week. Admit it, we all have those, but for the next few weeks, I think I'm going to be pretty gosh darn busy. One word: midterms. And okay, I admit they're not as stressful as "finals" but still, it counts as part of your grade. But anyways, onto the main part of this post. The actual retelling of my life story for this week. March 10 to 14th.

monday, MARCH 10:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RY!!! 

*note: I actually did tell him this on his actual birthday.

nothing all that dramatic. attended class, all that good stuff. 

tuesday, MARCH 11:

It was a sunny day, so my roommate and I went out tanning. I got slightly burned.

wednesday MARCH 12:

I already knew this was going to be an interesting day from the moment I woke up.

6:00am, my roommate's alarm goes off.

(she was supposed to wake up to take a shower)

6:15am, my alarm goes off and I dismiss it.

6:23am, my second alarm goes off, I dismiss it, once again.

6:30am, my roommate and I both sit up, turn, look at each other and say

 "I don't want to wake up"

7:15 am, me+my other 3 roommates = all struggling for the bathroom

7:25am, I'm still trying to finish breakfast and get into the bathroom.

7:30am, we're just about ready to leave for school

7:35am, apparently my roommate with the car isn't.

7:45am, we're backing out and headed for school.

7:55am, we're at freaking BROTMAN HALL and our classes are all the way on 

the south end of campus, the LA buildings. 2 of my roommates have the same

class. One of the two jolts to class (b/c the teacher takes attendance), while 

the one stays with me to walk. 

*note: we were freaking pissed.

At this point, as we mosey along up the slanted pavement towards our class (mentioned earlier, n the LA buildings).  So the LA buildings all kinda look the same, and as we're walking up the hill, it goes 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. My class is in LA 2, so as I approached my building I said bye to my roommate and went up the stairs. 

Now as I walk up the stairs, I begin to look for my classroom, and because it is in the middle of the building, I always look at the door number. So I'm going up the stairs, and I begin to count: 206, 204, 203, 202, 201. Wait a minute. Did you see that? 206, 204...huh, did I skip a number? No. That's what the doors stated. But okay wait, my classroom number is 205. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? So I stood there for literally 5 minutes, starting at the numbers 206 and 204 wondering where the heck my classroom went. Then I decide, okay, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I was never really in room 205.

So this is what I did. I walk to room 206 and open EVERY door all the way down to room 201, hoping that ONE of the classes would be mine. Then by the time I get to 201, I turned around and I realized that the building behind me isn't LA 1.  So I was like -_- man how dumb. 

I was at LA3.

I needed to be at LA 2.

9:15am, I'm done with English.

10:55am I'm done with history

-my friend FINALLY came to class, after all those weeks he ditched.

-not only did he come to class, but he brought an old classmate from 

last semester

They decide to get lunch at Panda Express. I wanted to eat my PB&J, but wasn't allowed, 

so I ended up sharing food with them. When we're done eating, two of their friends saw them

came over to talk. They ended up talking about W.O.W. for about 1.5 hours. 

The entire conversation was about skills vs. gear.

Oh man.

I understood the conversation and I DON'T EVEN PLAY.

Sad?

Maybe a little.

that was my wednesday.

in-between wednesday and into thursday

wednesday night:

my friend Robin came over and spent the night.

thursday morning:

about 6:00am, his alarm goes off, twice. Once around 6:15 and again around 6:30.

Both times, he turns off the alarm and goes back to sleep. At 6:45, I get up and tell him to wake

up and get into the bathroom before my other 2 roommates do; he tells me "okay, okay," so I

thought he would, so I went back to bed.

7:00, I hear the fan in the bathroom go on. (I thought it was him).

7:15, I look over and see he's still sleeping. I get up and wonder if he is taking the day off.

I go out to the living room to ask my other roommates (Stevie and Clarissa) what to do.

one says that it was my roommates job to wake him up and the other says wake him up

7:29, I state, "it's 7:30".

Robin: eyes open, then says, "oh shit."

changes, cleans up, and boogies out the door.

off to work from Long Beach, all the to Brea.

he is 19 minutes late for work.

thursday, MARCH 13:

Decided to do laundry and go to the market. Man, my roommate Debbie and I = totally not smart when

it came down to the market. I can't believe we spent $56 worth of food and then, since we don't

have a car, we had to CARRY our bags across the street. I mean, yeah, we could have pushed the

shopping cart across the street, but heck we just didn't.

Laundry. We went to almost every laundry place in the building due to the fact that we decided

to try different locations, and it ended up being that the one we usually go to had all of the

washers open! -_-

(today) friday, MARCH 14:

Went and got job applications.

Bought a necklace, and now debating if I want another one.

THE END, for now.

the week of never ending tasks

5 minutes is all I have. so I'm going to state the main thing I need:

I NEED BEACHBOARD TO WORK SO I CAN GET THE MATERIAL I NEED TO STUDY FOR MY MIDTERM. then, when that is done, everything will fall into place. Smooth sailing there on out.

At the 3 minute mark; however, that is all I have to say. So, I accomplished my task for the night.

edit:

*on a lighter note, the comment of "the chubakka invasion = M^2 mischief" has been put to and rest, for now.

the chosen path

Open the doors and into the stores of the great wonders of employment. Application process= complete.

missing and maybe found

I feel a tap on the shoulder and a voice softly stating "it's 6:50, time to wake up." As my eyes slowly open and I roll out of bed, I find that my throat feels slightly inflamed with a pain on the left side. I try to speak. 

silence. 

Try again, nothing. Reaching for the bottle of water on my drawer, I unscrew, pour, and swallow, only to feel slight relief.  

Dare I try again? I do, and I hear a faint whisper.

>skipped my first class of the day (discussion) can you imagine that being done with a whisper?< 

attended lecture (due to the fact that attendance is taken). Just my luck as I walk across campus, there is a group gathering of smokers.  Wonderful for me, no? As if it couldn't make my situation any worse-my throat-and I overhear someone say, "I wanna face this way because the wind is blowing and I wanna smoke."  Does anyone else find something odd about that statement, or is it just me? 

I mean, WHY does it matter which way you face?

1. the wind maybe be blowing a certain way, but what about those who are passing by? they still have to deal with the smoke
2. aren't you the one inhaling it anyways, so for you to face another direction doesn't really help
3. the fact that it didn't make my throat feel better and I don't particularity like the smell of smoke

Anyways,

About 5 minutes into the class a I hear an enquerre tone say "is this seat taken?" I shake my head. He sits, then asks another question. "What is that for?" (referring to the slide projected on screen) I answer. He cannot hear, and I state in a semi-louder whisper: this is as loud as I get. 

so, he listens more cautiously.

By the time lunch rolls around, I have taken a nap and once again, attend class. Drank orange juice before leaving and after class, recovered part of my voice. Yay for orange juice. It does a body good. 

**Hopefully the full restoration process is on the way and this disgusting cold will be gone.**

the called for introductions

day 1.

so, it took me a while to figure this whole thing out. During this whole process, my friend Michael assisted me and called me a "n00b"- I guess I deserved that. (btw Michael, that reminds me to update my to do list). I feel like I live in a bubble and don't expose myself to what's out in the world. I should really begin to do more with my life.

For more info, please feel free to check the "about me" section and if that isn't enough, ask.