Temporary Happiness

We live our daily lives based off the pleasures of temporary happiness.  Do you beg to differ?  Let me explain to you how this works.  As human beings, we go through a variety of emotions.  At times we are angry, and other times disappointed, frustrated, and although these feelings can also be temporary, it often tends to last a hell of a lot longer than the feeling of being satisfied and happy.

For the most part, we go through our day contempt with the way things are turning out.  We don't fixate so much on the positive things in our lives, but rather the things that troubles us.

So what makes anger, disappointment, frustration and all the things that troubles us stay around longer?  It is the constant worry of not knowing the unexpected, which is why we choose to dwell upon this for so long.

And when something good comes along, then we take it for granted, or become satisfied for just a brief moment in time.  It is not long before the happy feeling runs out, and  before you know it, we return to our everyday normal lives, awaiting for the next great thing that will venture into our life and bring happiness again; but not fixated on when it will happen.

The Dark Knight

First of all, let me just say that this was one of the best movies that I have seen in a while! I would see it again. I came out, left in awe and wanting more.

Secondly, there is so much symbolism and messages, without even trying to look for it. Basically self explanatory, for those who heard it and applied what the characters were saying to today's life.  I like analyzing movies and what's being said.  It makes things interesting. 

But for those of you who haven't watched it yet, I will say no more, for now. Maybe more, later?

the Outcome of Customer Satisfaction, overcome

*I started this post earlier, but I didn't finish it, and then something came up, so I just added it. 

I got to the point where I gave up and stopped caring.  I became really moody, and when it came down to customers, I stopped trying to make conversations with them.  I stopped being pleasant and went into robot mode and going through the motions: saying "next in line", scanning the items, and placing the receipt in the bag.  From those angry customers, I became bitter because I had to deal with them and their problem with the store because they can't get their way. I think people need to learn how to read.  Seriously. No Joke. 

We as employees try our hardest to place and keep our items on the shelves, in an orderly manner.  But it's hard; things get misplaced.  Why can't people understand that?

But yesterday (7/22/08) A lady came, purchasing flowers, but apparently she forgot her credit card, so we had to ring up the flowers carefully.  Anyways, she found that she had returns in her car and wanted to bring them back in, but she ended up not coming back into the store until around 7:00 pm.  When she came back in she had a bundle load, and as I was ringing her up, she asked me what my manager's name was because she wanted to tell him that I made her feel welcomed at Michaels, unlike the other one she encountered.  Plus, she said that I was very "patient" which is something that I've been asking God to guide me in finding.  And although God has answered this prayer already, she was like the final closing statement, telling me that, yes I have mastered patience, and this is your reward.

I overcame the huge doubts I had about people's actions.  Now, even though people continue to do the things we do, I live life a lot happier knowing that I have made a difference in someone's life for one day.

note: previous week = worse week ever. got yelled at by manager (b/c he though I wasn't being productive) & dealt with long lines and frustration b/c I was the only cashier working. (the quick version)

Customer Satisfaction (3)

So I've been working for sometime now, and I think I've learned how to manage the customer/worker interactions.  I've slowly realized that you should just please the customers. Customers are what makes the economy function, right? 

Continuing on with situations I've encountered:

Around the end of July and early June, I dealt with a lady who bought A CARTload of stuff.  As I scanned her items, she watched the screen.  I came across a sketch book.  It rang up 3 something.  So she inquired, "aren't those $1?"  I, who just stocked those yesterday, remembered that it wasn't that brand and told her it was another brand, and she told me that she found it for a dollar in the back.  So I simply told her, I'm sorry, it was misplaced.  So she didn't want it.  I continued to scan, and some foam stuff she had came up more expensive.  So, once again, she told me, those are a dollar (I a really pissed off tone).  As she said that, one of my managers was walking by, and was like, oh yeah, those are supposed to be a dollar, and told me to do a price override.  So I did.  As I was doing so, then she decided to ask my manager about the sketch book.  And my manager said, no that one isn't, it's another brand.  So the lady was like fine. 

I finish ringing her up, and tell her total. She hands me her her coupon and then hands me another one. Our new company policy is, only ONE  per customer, and we are now strictly enforcing it.  Since I can only take one coupon per customer, I tell her so, and she goes, I KNOW, I TOLD YOU THAT I WANTED ONE PURCHASE FOR THIS AND ONE FOR MY SON (who, was standing there, holding a toy, which I didn't even ring up because I didn't even see him).  But she didn't even tell me that EVER. So she gave me this really scary stare, and she had WAY too much make up on, so it looked even more deathly.  -_- oh gosh. I think that was the day I decided customers are officially cranky brats.  She left the store, extremely mad.

I believe this is now about three weeks ago, I dealt with a lady who couldn't understand our new company policy of one coupon per customer and how I could not do separate transactions, because she is still ONE customer.  Then, I gave the coupons a closer look, only to find that not only could she not use these two at once, but the the coupon was expired, but she was too worked up over the fact that she could no longer use 2 coupons.  So she got extremely furious, rose a fit, and stated, "do you know how much money I spend here?"

Now, my thoughts are, yeah and I'm assuming and "all that money" you spend here is with coupons, considering you're mad right now.  I mean, honestly, if you spent THAT MUCH money here, you wouldn't be mad at the fact that we can't give you the sale price offered DUE TO THE FACT that the ad price you have IS PAST DATED!  Secondly, if you sped that much money here, then rather than raising your tone, you could have said, "oh, okay, I'll come back when it's on sale."  OR just BOUGHT the item.

After saying that statement, she threw the stuff down on the counter, and said, "okay, I don't want any of it," and stormed out the door. 

Of course, my front end supervisor saw it, and asked me what happened and I told her.  And she said, good, we don't need people like that here.

The next day, THE EXACT SAME LADY came back, but she put on a visor and tried to hid her face.  The only reason why I noticed her was (1) she was buying the same stuff (2) she was wearing the same shirt. 

There are more stories, but I can't think of the rest of them at the moment.

Given Up

Jumbled thoughts race through my mind on everything I should be doing, but I give a blank stare. 

I no longer see a direct line to where I'm supposed to be headed, but instead Lost, Confused and the fact that I'm just over everything that is going on.

That's life.

Feeling something one moment, and moving on to something else the next.

Hopefully this feeling of "blah" will be over soon.

Customer Satisfaction (2)

Now, the beginning compilation of things I have encountered this summer.

• First Day On the Job: my supervisor is showing me how to work the cashier all that good stuff when first beginning a new job. A guy comes up to buy supplies and she needs to make change because she's out.  As she's explaining to me how that works, the guy goes, "can I have my change?" in a rude tone, of course.  (as if we forgot about him) -_- So my supervisor goes, "yes, one moment, I need to make change," (and as she turns down to make the change, she gives me this look like "goodness" -_-  And to top that off, he bought an obscure object, that doesn't even fit in a bag, but he wanted a bag for it.  So I gave him a bag, and as he walked out the door, he was mumbling something, and my supervisor was like, what? So he came back and complained about something, and she just apologized about our service not being to his satisfaction, and he's like, okay apology accepted, and stormed out of the store. 
• Second Day on the Job: I opened. So I come to the store, early enough so that I know I'll be able to open, only to realize, I forgot to ask/nobody told me how to get in when we open the store. Thankfully, one of my coworkers was outside the door and was already getting the door opened.  I made sure to find out how to get it, of course, and now, I know. After doing the necessary things before opening the store, such as vacuuming and such, I'm told to "open" the doors (you know, those automatic sliding door thingies), only to find that I'm too short to reach, and I tell my manager this, so opened the door for me. As this happened, I found out I was on the floor by myself, with NO front end supervisor...and whenever I needed to make a return, I needed to call a manager.  I was horrified, it being my second day and all, and to top that off,  I encountered this lady who wanted to return merchandise that had no tag on the bag. So I remembered my training from yesterday with my supervisor who said, it had to be in the original condition with tags intact; otherwise, we don't take it back. And then the lady asked me why couldn't I check it by the receipt? I didn't even know how to do that, so I told her, I don't know if I could do that, but let me call my manager up for you.  So she stood off to the side, and by the time my manager got up to the front, she was mad and started going off saying, "I'm on my lunch break, I came in for simple service, and you can't even give it to me, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah". As I continued to assist other customers, they started to give me the look of "oh my gosh, calm down woman."  So after a few moments of wasting her own time by yelling and explaining to my manager, my manager explains to her that this is my 2nd day on the job (yeah, like she cared), and that the bag that she brought in is not even sold in our store.  (which, of course made her even more angry, leaving her to go on about how all Michael's should be able to take back anything bought from another store...)  So then my manager figures, okay, comes over to me, ask me to insert the number on the receipt to see how much the item is worth. It rings up: $2.99, that made her furious, considering the fact that she payed $7.99 for it.  So now, I'm given the instructions to override this purchase to giver her back $7.99, but something funky happened and I had to void the transaction.  I ended up having to void the transaction 2 more times before we got it to work properly.  And when the lady was finally out of the store, all the customers who witnessed that was like, "take your time, I'm not here on my lunch break," which I found pretty funny.  But geez, what a way to start off my second day. At the end of the day I found my register short, which I think, somehow happened in the process of all those voided transactions, or something, but oh well, I survived my second day and lived to tell the tale.
• Third Day (I believe).  So this man comes in, early in the morning and asks me where to find sturdy foam board (he wanted to put a cake on it).  I didn't particularly know where everything was yet, so I asked my coworker, who brought him to the framing department, where the man found a really big board.  The problem, it has no barcode for me to scan, so I ask my coworker if he can go get it for me.  He tires, but we can't find it.  So it takes an extremely long time to get everything done.  In the meantime, while all of this is happening, my manager comes out and tires to help, but he ended up just making matters worse.  The man got mad and stated, "sir, we were doing fine, this gentleman and this young lady here were doing a great job and being very helpful, until you came long. You, my friend are just making things worse.  All you do is sit in your office back there and not do anything." *sigh* hurtful words. However, when we figured everything out, the man left, he wasn't too mad, but he had to hurry home to put his cake on it.  After he left, my manager said to me, "Jackie, I think you bring in all the bad customers." x____x

Customer Satisfaction (1)

So I had/have this phase where:

1. I go to work (at Michaels, the Arts and Crafts store)
2. I deal with people
3. I come home cranky

This is what I call the wonderful world of retail.

But that was my phase, where I hated people.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I still have my moments; but I can say that I am now calm. 

Now to start off this neglected blog posting, I will start off with that, and continue with the endless things that customers have done.  It never ceases to amaze me all the weird things you could ever possible imagine that would happen at the cash register...

what Ugly is

in my eyes, society is Ugly.

my reasoning? 

Ugly comes from ATTITUDE.  

ATTITUDE brings out Ugly.

society has ATTITUDE.

the room

after many weeks,the junk is now gone (for the time being).

the room is now clean, and i hope it will stay that way (at least for a little while).

A Moment in Time

A few moments ago, I sat down to read my topic for which I am supposed to do my final "in class" essay on, only to find that it's on the 2008 Olympics in China.

As soon as I read into the article assigned, my brain totally went into a: whaaaat, this is happening? Only to realize that in a few hours, I have to do an essay on this, dealing somehow with the issue of boycott, Olympics in China, take a stance, or explain what I believe.

To be honest, at this point, I'm not even sure where to go and how to approach this topic.  It's so vastly large.  There are many angles to cover, what am I going to narrow it down to?  There's only so much I can talk about with the Tibetan issues going on. 

Lets see what I can find out in the next hour.  Maybe something helpful.  Well, actually, I did find this: http://boycott2008games.blogspot.com

An entire blogspot about China and the 2008 Olympics.  But this is based on opinions, of course, but I must admit it does use news sources.  

You've got to be kidding me

We totally saw it coming.  The day you would bring your parents into this whole mess that you created.  It was bound to happen sooner or later, and the fact is, you're twenty two and still need mommy to fight your battles for you. 

That's kinda sad.

What we can't believe is the fact that your parents came in, and starts the conversation with a misinformed quote, and for us to have to FIRST correct them, and for you to AGREE with what we say, what does that say?  Liar, liar, pants on fire-we caught you in your own mess? No?

 It's because your parents only know YOUR side of the story, and of course, any parent would side with their child.  But for them to come in, misinformed, wow, at least get the story straight.  

As if we couldn't embarrass you further.

Kinda harsh, yeah, I know.

I'm just so over this whole issue.

This pointless arguing that has been going on.

Pointless.

Oh, and we're not sorry your parents had to leave early from work, because this issue we have here, it's between us and you.  It has nothing to do with them, so get your act together.  You're twenty two.  You don't see us running to mommy and daddy to fight our battles for us, now do you?

leech

leech: a hanger-on who seeks advantage or gain

I'm tired of the leech who just seeks what needs to be done, but not actually an attendee presently, daily .  Do you think you can just continue to do what you do and get though life that way?  Having everything simply handed to you?! 

Sometimes,

I wish my life could be like that.

But then I stop and think, (like now),

and I don't wish it that much.

My hard work pays off.

I am satisfied with the things I do.

I am proud of the things I've accomplished.

I know I am responsible, and in the long run,

this responsibility,

this hard-working,

self-motivation I have going will pay off.

One day you'll see, it's not that easy.  The things in life aren't simply handed to you.  You actually have to work the what you want, unless you're one of those people who really don't care, but I highly doubt that, considering you're making the the attempt of asking what's going on.  So I guess you deserve some credit, something along the lines of 5% sounds about right.

And Who Said Glasses Can't be Fashionable?

Thin frame line, simple black no longer.  Glasses have definitely revolutionized to color, style (design).  In other words, glasses can be fashionable.  So why the topic of glasses?  Well, this morning, while waiting for class to begin, my classmate was talking to me and he noticed a sign that stated: LOST GLASSES, come to FO3-rm# (something that I cannot recall at this exact moment).

He then said, "hmm, those could be mine...but then again, I lost mine a year ago." (yeah, so definitely not his).  After making that statement, he started to talk about how glasses were so annoying because they were boring and he couldn't see out of the side of his eye when he tried to look out.  I took a moment to think about this, and then I realized what he was saying.  I don't know anyone who actually tires to do that, but there might actually be other people out there, but to me, that's just kind of weird.  So I asked him, "wouldn't you just move your head to see something off to the side?" And his reply, "oh yeah, I guess that would work, for NORMAL people." 

Wow, I was not expecting that answer for wearing glasses. After talking about that, I think we started to talk about how he thought glasses were boring.  But I see things differently.  Glasses are cool, especially now, since there are various frames to chose from.  How fun, no?  (Well, I guess it also depends on the selection you have from your optometrist).

All and all, my conclusion is glasses are cool, when you have the right frame. 

the Lazy days

Heat creates sleepiness.  Heat creates sluggishness.  Heat creates yearning for the cool breeze.  A cool breeze to come and relieve the sticky, wet sweat, to make it disappear.  Yesterday was one of those days, where the heat overpowered the breeze, creating a place of stale warmth, and creating laziness.

bored out of my mind

For the past 2 days, I feel like I've accomplished a lot.

• applied to [more] jobs for the summer
• did laundry
• declared a minor
• applied to mt. sac
• sent transcripts
• cleaned the entire kitchen
• washed dishes
  
• went to the market
• shopped for a new place to live
• posted a notification on craigslist
• cleaned room
• cleaned backpack

and did some other stuff that I can't recall at the moment. But now that I've done all that stuff, I'm pretty bored and tired, so I apologize if my grammar/sentence structure is all over the place and not making sense.

So I started to surf the web and check out various sites. I first started with my email.  Once I was done with that, I moved onto flickr.  Saw some neat photos and then got bored again. So I moved onto the next site, which was my friend Michael's blog. The entry was about how he thinks he's boring. (I don't think he is, me on the other hand, you can say I'm boring).  

So it came down to one of these moments of analyzing things. *sigh* So when you're bored, this is what happens: you think about things and then you start to wonder.  You begin to look into things and try to find a reason/understanding/reason why it is the way it is. But in the end, even if you come to a solution, it's only your conclusion because someone else will have a whole different outlook from what you were once thinking, and then it makes you wonder again.  The cycle begins again and you pick up where you left off. 

As I sit here and write this post, I just noticed everything I said, so in a way, being bored  can lead to a new found something? I guess. But then again, this is just me...and maybe what I just said was kinda weird, for some, while for others, they'll completely agree. 

selfishly inconsiderate [part 1]

Whatever happened to simple acts of kindness jut for the sake of helping people out?

For the past 3 days, I've experienced selfishness in many different forms.

selfishness: lack of consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal gain

I'm not saying that anyone is free/perfect from being selfish, I know I'm not, but there are certain situations where the selfish attitude is just being foolish

Why can't I just be helpful just because?

Why does everything have to have a reason?

So I was talking to my aunt about apartments in Berkeley (because she attended school there) because my friend is searching for apartments now.  

Her response: why are you looking for apartments in Berkeley?

me: oh, my friend is searching for an apartment, and I was just wondering if you could give me some locations so I can tell him to look around that area.

my aunt: doesn't he know the Berkeley area? Just do a search on Craig's list.

me:...

what I was really thinking:

how does that answer my question?

(I just wanted to give him a more direct location to search around!)

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the greatest examples of being selfish, but still, I found the tone of her voice unnecessary. I mean, common, I'm just looking for some direction.

The way I look at what she was telling me: Why are you concerned with this problem?  If it's not something you have to worry about then why bother? 

First: it's not a problem!

Secondly: It's called doing someone a favor,

or simply helping them out.

Third: that's not who I am.

Another incident, where my friend just wanted to know the process of something, and once again, because I didn't know, I tried asked around. Big mistake on my part. Because all I got was, "well, if it's that important, then shouldn't that person be trying to figure out what's going on by themselves?" 

SERIOUSLY?

No duh, they're trying to figure it out!

Because 

I thought 

when you need help, 

you go to someone who already went through something similar before

OR

someone who might know the answer and can possibly help.

But I guess not?

So basically, it's saying, if you don't know the answer, forget asking anyone for help.  Since when did it become "a do it yourself, or just don't bother asking for help at all" attitude?

can someone explain that to me?

misconception of change

People change.

But then again, some don't.

Is change a bad thing?

It can be.

But at the same time, change occurs daily.  Without change,

there would be no excitement and everything would remain the same.

Change is what you make of it.

photos, not quality expected?

-photo 1: random posed shot

-photo 2: An attempt to capture a different angle.

result: fairly decent, but not quick enough.

-Next step: when opportunities present themselves, take advantage of the usage of an SLR.

-Future goal: own an SLR. maybe.

*first time use of an SLR since Publications; that's about 1/2 a year! T_T

How much I miss taking pictures.

Don't Stalk.

While browsing through my friend's pictures, I came across this photo.  Now there's something you don't see every day. I forgot exactly who I obtain this from, but I'm interested in finding out where this is located.

neglected or just a forgott0n?

Remember back in the day when you were once young and had a list ready to go when mommy and daddy asked what you wanted?  You wanted it right then and there, and if you didn't get it, usually a hissy-fit would come, causing a big scene (which, undoubtably got you the item of desire).

Then after receiving what you wanted, you'll play with it for a while because not too long after you received that, a new item is up for grabs.

Now from all these items accumulated, what have you done with them? Sure, they've been played with, some even worn out, but how necessary were each of the items actually?

At the moment, of course they were extremely necessary.

duh, why else would you have bought it?

correction: your parents.

Reading this, some questions may arise, such as: What's the purpose of this?  What brings about this topic? And maybe even Why am I reading this? (for further questions, if not answered, please ask).

Current status: on spring break.

Point of spring break: to go out and have fun.

PROBLEM: everyone is already back in school.

(my) SOLUTION: clean house/room! (since I can't be in multiple places at once).

So as I'm cleaning out my closet, I've realized that there is a lot of stuff that from my childhood packed away in these boxes.

I mean, what else was I supposed to do with them?

maybe throw things away, like normal people do?

but those things [did] cost money!

As I was saying...I found my childhood packed away in boxes.  Now as I sit/stand in my room looking at everything, I'm wondering what to do with half the stuff. I suppose I could save it for the future, but that defeats the purpose of "spring cleaning". It would be more like, "spring reflection."

A good amount of these things that are still  in perfectly decent/fine condition.  But now looking at everything (I'm now in the box of clothes), I realize how much money I spent as child.  Some of this stuff  isn't even used! Great. Just wonderful. Not even used material that I have no use for now. And there are some things that sit in here in front of me that are currently new, and probably never going to be worn.

From all this stuff, I realize that now, when I'm out, I'm going to ask myself if I REALLYYYYY need it or not; will I REALLLLY use/wear whatever it is I'm going to buy?

I've developed a finer appreciation for the things I have.  It's just a matter of what I'm going to do with everything.

=]

Standing in the Light (A Lakota Way of Seeing) by Servert Young Bear and R.D. Theisz

p. 119

• By Caring, I think, I had to set the example of leadership.
  
• ...it's very difficult to be in that leadership role because it demands that commitment and responsibility of selflessness
• On the day when I knew my own identity, really knew who I am, it was because I found that I wanted people to remember how I cared.  I think that's why when I take on any responsibility, I give my whole ind, heart, and body to it...There's a very think line between real leadership and overdoing it.

From reading these lines, I acknowledge that leadership is not something to be taken lightly. It is actually another quality to have in life.  Reflecting back on everything I've done so far (and not to sound egotistical or anything), I've notice that most of the time I am placed in a position with a lot of responsibility.  Sometimes too quickly and too much at once. Which leads to stress.

Stress isn't good. 

Maybe I need to reconsider/reanalyze my priorities?

hmmm, no. it's not priorities...

 just manage the amount of tasks I'm responsible for. 

I think, for now.

the pain

Negotiation skills. That's what it takes to survive in the "real world".  Without it, we would be nothing.

How sure am I about this?

Not 100%, but I'm pretty sure it's required

...today...

Dishes can be a pain, especially having to do them constantly (or so it feels).  Most of the time, dishes are therapeutic, but when it starts to feel like deja vu, you know there's something wrong.

Carrying two laundry baskets, down two flights of stairs can a pain, especially when you ask someone if they're busy and they say "no," but then when you ask them if they can help you with something and they're like "*groans* I'm tired".

THEN, when they actually see you struggling, they look at you like WTF? And when I return from the laundry room, they go, oh, were you doing 2 loads of laundry?

As if the looks of things weren't clear enough.

After asking that question, another question follows: "Are you mad?"

Oh gosh. What do you think?

Well, I wouldn't say mad, but frustrated?

Not sure what words I'm looking for here.

This is probably a moment where I could have used those negotiation skills I mentioned earlier.

and the funny thing is

Washing the dishes the evening after eating dinner with Debbie, she starts laughing hilariously. I don't exactly know why, but she does. I think one of the reasons is because the note she wrote on the board that states:

My Experiment...

Noodles with peanut sauce and chicken.

• kinda spicy
• very out of the ordinary
• eat at your own risk! 

but you are welcome to eat it,

IF YOU DARE. *>:)

-Debbie

(then I added) P.S.: the only reason Jac is still alive is because she did not eat any of it, only smelled it.  She says it smells good.

THEN after we're done washing the dishes, we decide to go to Staples. It's like 8 o'clock-ish and I'm pretty sure they're just about to close. Debbie doesn't think so. So we decide to go out the "front way" because it's closer, only to find that a guy is PAINTING the floor. 

can you say wtf? yes, I know.

So the guy tells us to go around, in poorly spoken English, of course. So we're like, oh, okay well take this opportunity to "explore" and find the "third pool".

btw, we found the third pool. 

What we didn't find was an exit.

We get to Staples, and sure enough, it's closed. So we walked around shops for a while and then went to Starbucks.

Overall, what was the "and the funny thing is?"

I'm not exactly sure, that's for you to decide. 

just let me be

Continuous pestering, daily.  Sometimes I think, maybe, just maybe for one day I'll be left alone.  But sadly, no.  These one word actions that are so violently being placed upon my eyes, awaiting me to read them as the screen notifies me that my message(s) awaits.  Then to think I'll be okay after the day is done, again, no.  Every other day, in the actual flesh.

mutters silently, *darn* beneath my breath

or, think it in my head.

releasing a small, not noticeable sigh of depression, I pretend as if nothing is wrong because I know it will just drive you psycho.  

The fact that you are unstable used to worry me, but now, I find it a problem. It's one of those situations where I put up with it because I am too nice; just too nice.

Sometimes, being nice = a weakness.

getting the run around

design department. art department. horn center. All which equal my academic advising for second semester.  While most students only have to attend one, lucky me, I attend all three.  The sad thing about it is the fact that I did not received the help I actually needed.  Instead, from my design meeting, I am redirected to the horn center; however, I receive an email telling me that I have to attend the art department in order to take classes. While at the art advising, I get redirected to the design department, which I already attended; therefore, off to the horn center it is.

Horn Center. I don't particularly enjoy talking to the receptionist there just because I had an incident, but the advisers are awesome. =]  Super helpful and informative. 

the temptation

It just sat there, cold and full of color.  I could taste it on my tongue, and when I decided to finally pour the cup, three more cups followed.   Hello Arizona Green tea, you've never tasted so good.

statement(s) of the day

my roommates asks, "What is up with San Jose, they're like popping babies out. They think it's easy." 

So my roommate, Clarissa just found out one of her friends is pregnant and she heard that there was a "count down" on the girl's myspace. Of course, she checked it out, and showed me. So we're looking at it, and it's like "9 weeks" only 214 days left to go. *sigh* 

Then she tells her boyfriend, and the boyfriend says, "now you know when they have a countdown on myspace they're not ready for a kid." 

aim for more than just content

Current topic of the day: relationships. So apparently college is supposed to be the time for meeting new exciting people, everyone knows this.

"duh."

Lately, my friend Robin has been staying over the weekends and he's been talking to me about how I need to be fulfilled. So he's been through this conversation with my other two roommates, and they both agree.

My outlook on this topic. I would say I'm content with what my life is.  I'm happy with the way things are going. But here at Long Beach, I often feel a lack of passion for being here. Then I think, why am I at Long Beach? What is my main purpose for being here?  

my reason: interior design. 

But now, after being bombarded by the topic of relationships from all angles almost possible, I'm starting to consider that maybe I need to get out more...

Now this topic leads to other things, such as the reason I need a job; to meet people.  Not only that, a job would make me become even more independent from the old me.  As of right now, yes, I am independent, but I still feel as if I am being held back. 

Yes, I live in an apartment, live with 3 other girls, and attend school daily, but this apartment I live in, I'm not paying for it, my parents are and the school I attend, my parents pay for that too.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I look at my other 3 roommates and they all are managing a job and work.  They have their own money to spend and don't have to run to mommy and daddy for allowance in order to spend it on the things they want. 

I know my parents love me, but sometimes I feel they are just too overprotective. Sometimes, I think they worry too much.  I mean, I'm 18 now and going to be turning 19 in about a week and my mom won't allow me to use my debt/atm card because she feels it isn't safe.  Understandable, but how does me carrying around cash any safer?  I feel it's just MORE dangerous, no?  I want to be able to say to them that yes, I appreciate your help, but can you let me live my own life.  I know in the eyes of parents, they don't want their children to grow up.  They want them to remain children forever.  It's a scary thought, yes, I know, but it's the truth.  I need to break free from their overprotectiveness and prove to them that I can manage school and work.  I need to stop coming home weekly, because when I do come home, I never am able to accomplish any school work.  I always have tasks to do around the house or errands to run. 

so what exactly do I have to do? 

Break free.  Be more outgoing.  Meet people. Manage time.  Establish independence.  

what a depressing post, yes I know.

but it's also semi-optimistic, no?

rewind and then press play

Okay, so I had a busy week. Admit it, we all have those, but for the next few weeks, I think I'm going to be pretty gosh darn busy. One word: midterms. And okay, I admit they're not as stressful as "finals" but still, it counts as part of your grade. But anyways, onto the main part of this post. The actual retelling of my life story for this week. March 10 to 14th.

monday, MARCH 10:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RY!!! 

*note: I actually did tell him this on his actual birthday.

nothing all that dramatic. attended class, all that good stuff. 

tuesday, MARCH 11:

It was a sunny day, so my roommate and I went out tanning. I got slightly burned.

wednesday MARCH 12:

I already knew this was going to be an interesting day from the moment I woke up.

6:00am, my roommate's alarm goes off.

(she was supposed to wake up to take a shower)

6:15am, my alarm goes off and I dismiss it.

6:23am, my second alarm goes off, I dismiss it, once again.

6:30am, my roommate and I both sit up, turn, look at each other and say

 "I don't want to wake up"

7:15 am, me+my other 3 roommates = all struggling for the bathroom

7:25am, I'm still trying to finish breakfast and get into the bathroom.

7:30am, we're just about ready to leave for school

7:35am, apparently my roommate with the car isn't.

7:45am, we're backing out and headed for school.

7:55am, we're at freaking BROTMAN HALL and our classes are all the way on 

the south end of campus, the LA buildings. 2 of my roommates have the same

class. One of the two jolts to class (b/c the teacher takes attendance), while 

the one stays with me to walk. 

*note: we were freaking pissed.

At this point, as we mosey along up the slanted pavement towards our class (mentioned earlier, n the LA buildings).  So the LA buildings all kinda look the same, and as we're walking up the hill, it goes 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. My class is in LA 2, so as I approached my building I said bye to my roommate and went up the stairs. 

Now as I walk up the stairs, I begin to look for my classroom, and because it is in the middle of the building, I always look at the door number. So I'm going up the stairs, and I begin to count: 206, 204, 203, 202, 201. Wait a minute. Did you see that? 206, 204...huh, did I skip a number? No. That's what the doors stated. But okay wait, my classroom number is 205. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? So I stood there for literally 5 minutes, starting at the numbers 206 and 204 wondering where the heck my classroom went. Then I decide, okay, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I was never really in room 205.

So this is what I did. I walk to room 206 and open EVERY door all the way down to room 201, hoping that ONE of the classes would be mine. Then by the time I get to 201, I turned around and I realized that the building behind me isn't LA 1.  So I was like -_- man how dumb. 

I was at LA3.

I needed to be at LA 2.

9:15am, I'm done with English.

10:55am I'm done with history

-my friend FINALLY came to class, after all those weeks he ditched.

-not only did he come to class, but he brought an old classmate from 

last semester

They decide to get lunch at Panda Express. I wanted to eat my PB&J, but wasn't allowed, 

so I ended up sharing food with them. When we're done eating, two of their friends saw them

came over to talk. They ended up talking about W.O.W. for about 1.5 hours. 

The entire conversation was about skills vs. gear.

Oh man.

I understood the conversation and I DON'T EVEN PLAY.

Sad?

Maybe a little.

that was my wednesday.

in-between wednesday and into thursday

wednesday night:

my friend Robin came over and spent the night.

thursday morning:

about 6:00am, his alarm goes off, twice. Once around 6:15 and again around 6:30.

Both times, he turns off the alarm and goes back to sleep. At 6:45, I get up and tell him to wake

up and get into the bathroom before my other 2 roommates do; he tells me "okay, okay," so I

thought he would, so I went back to bed.

7:00, I hear the fan in the bathroom go on. (I thought it was him).

7:15, I look over and see he's still sleeping. I get up and wonder if he is taking the day off.

I go out to the living room to ask my other roommates (Stevie and Clarissa) what to do.

one says that it was my roommates job to wake him up and the other says wake him up

7:29, I state, "it's 7:30".

Robin: eyes open, then says, "oh shit."

changes, cleans up, and boogies out the door.

off to work from Long Beach, all the to Brea.

he is 19 minutes late for work.

thursday, MARCH 13:

Decided to do laundry and go to the market. Man, my roommate Debbie and I = totally not smart when

it came down to the market. I can't believe we spent $56 worth of food and then, since we don't

have a car, we had to CARRY our bags across the street. I mean, yeah, we could have pushed the

shopping cart across the street, but heck we just didn't.

Laundry. We went to almost every laundry place in the building due to the fact that we decided

to try different locations, and it ended up being that the one we usually go to had all of the

washers open! -_-

(today) friday, MARCH 14:

Went and got job applications.

Bought a necklace, and now debating if I want another one.

THE END, for now.

the week of never ending tasks

5 minutes is all I have. so I'm going to state the main thing I need:

I NEED BEACHBOARD TO WORK SO I CAN GET THE MATERIAL I NEED TO STUDY FOR MY MIDTERM. then, when that is done, everything will fall into place. Smooth sailing there on out.

At the 3 minute mark; however, that is all I have to say. So, I accomplished my task for the night.

edit:

*on a lighter note, the comment of "the chubakka invasion = M^2 mischief" has been put to and rest, for now.

the chosen path

Open the doors and into the stores of the great wonders of employment. Application process= complete.

missing and maybe found

I feel a tap on the shoulder and a voice softly stating "it's 6:50, time to wake up." As my eyes slowly open and I roll out of bed, I find that my throat feels slightly inflamed with a pain on the left side. I try to speak. 

silence. 

Try again, nothing. Reaching for the bottle of water on my drawer, I unscrew, pour, and swallow, only to feel slight relief.  

Dare I try again? I do, and I hear a faint whisper.

>skipped my first class of the day (discussion) can you imagine that being done with a whisper?< 

attended lecture (due to the fact that attendance is taken). Just my luck as I walk across campus, there is a group gathering of smokers.  Wonderful for me, no? As if it couldn't make my situation any worse-my throat-and I overhear someone say, "I wanna face this way because the wind is blowing and I wanna smoke."  Does anyone else find something odd about that statement, or is it just me? 

I mean, WHY does it matter which way you face?

1. the wind maybe be blowing a certain way, but what about those who are passing by? they still have to deal with the smoke
2. aren't you the one inhaling it anyways, so for you to face another direction doesn't really help
3. the fact that it didn't make my throat feel better and I don't particularity like the smell of smoke

Anyways,

About 5 minutes into the class a I hear an enquerre tone say "is this seat taken?" I shake my head. He sits, then asks another question. "What is that for?" (referring to the slide projected on screen) I answer. He cannot hear, and I state in a semi-louder whisper: this is as loud as I get. 

so, he listens more cautiously.

By the time lunch rolls around, I have taken a nap and once again, attend class. Drank orange juice before leaving and after class, recovered part of my voice. Yay for orange juice. It does a body good. 

**Hopefully the full restoration process is on the way and this disgusting cold will be gone.**

the called for introductions

day 1.

so, it took me a while to figure this whole thing out. During this whole process, my friend Michael assisted me and called me a "n00b"- I guess I deserved that. (btw Michael, that reminds me to update my to do list). I feel like I live in a bubble and don't expose myself to what's out in the world. I should really begin to do more with my life.

For more info, please feel free to check the "about me" section and if that isn't enough, ask.